SFH Journal: 2020-02-17 through 02-23 - Calamity Averted

As you may recall, due to a great windstorm that blew through the immense Serendipity Farmhouse estate on Friday, February 7th the entire infrastructure of our most fruitful vineyard was totally devastated. (See SFH Journal: 2019-02-03 through 02-09 – Calamity! for the full story.)

We hearty and proud residents of SFH gathered together in council to determine what could be, what should be, and what would be done to restore our dear vineyard to its once great glory. It was decided by my dear, sweet and most level-headed Spouse (see featured picture) that we would rebuild. Not only would we rebuild, we would make our vineyard even more grand than it was before the wind storm.

Lovely Wife would provide the planning and oversee the execution of the plan. Mr. Monte would scour the Internet for the best possible materials. As usual, I would provide the labor and respond, without hesitation, to all commands dictated by my True Love.

Within days the new arbor had been shipped to our door step. Mr. Monte had chosen wisely. I immediately set to the task of dismantling the old arbor; salvaging all usable hardware; and disposing of the debris. Dearest Wife decided that we would celebrate the demolition with a small bonfire and chocolate chip cookies. – – I saw this as a great incentive and motivator to get the work done quickly.

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Using my highly developed multitasking skills, I, almost without error or difficulty, also managed to assemble the new arbor. Now the key to understanding my last statement is to consider that almost no home assembly project is completed smoothly and without mishap. Here are some examples of what novelties this assembly task presented:

1 – Instructions: Unlike many other products, these instructions were written by Americans. For those of us who have adapted to Zhonglish (Chinese-English mistranslations), our ability to comprehend literal and coherent English has diminished. Consequently, it took some time to reacquaint myself with my own native language.

2. Adhesive: You will note that the supplied parts included “Fix-All Adhesive”. The instructions also referred to this devilish mixture as “Super Glue”. The reader will note that on several occasions I have worked with this substance. My experiences have not been good ones. Even as I type these words for you, I am trying to remove a large amount of this substance from index fingers and thumbs. – At least this time I didn’t get it on my nose.

3. The “Last” Part: There is always great joy in affixing the last part to your assembly project, stepping back, and viewing your project with great pride. I did so earlier this afternoon. I even called out my wonderful Spouse to see my work. There were no left over parts. – – I celebrated too soon! – – Please note the red circle in the picture below. – It took Dearest Wife and I nearly 25 minutes to find that part and install it properly.

So, here’s a quick review of assembly of the arbor.

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The objective of this project, completed so adeptly by the residents of SFH, was to restore and improve the infrastructure of the vast SFH vineyard. The following pictures show that we accomplished that task in fine fashion.

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In addition to acknowledging beautiful Wife’s unparalleled planning and oversight of this project, I would like to thank Mr. Monte for his fantastic and uncanny ability to search the Internet for project materials. He’s really one smart cat!