Catiquette Tutorial

Doctor of Classical Catiquette

Hi! Mr. Monte here!

To my 23,417 feline followers, especially my many cat cousins residing in Virginia and Ohio, the following is FOR YOUR EYES ONLY.”

Last week, I noted the case of one of my followers who made a severe breach of Catiquette that resulted in the great indignity of a “scruffing” by its owner. (See Caturday & Catiquette.) A recent email from the poor humbled feline suggests that he/she deserves a bit more instruction on the proper techniques prescribed by Catiquette. (Please note that I will do my best to avoid revealing the identity of the feline in question or of its humans.)

The email informed me that the cat made a sincere attempt to communicate its desire to partake in the enjoyment of a chicken bone. The feline crawled up on the shoulder of its human and demonstrated its great interest in the chicken on the human’s plate. Unfortunately, the said feline was too abrupt in its actions, signaling to the human that the feline would lunge for the chicken in an attempt to steal it away from the human. Here, look for yourself and see how the feline’s objectives might be misinterpreted.

I think it’s clear that this approach is far too overt and could lead to an untoward outcome. So, for all 23,417 of my dear followers, please observe the master of Catiquette in action and learn from him. – – Announce your intent/desire, show your human how important it is to you, convince your human that it was really his/her idea, and, most importantly, signal that satisfying your desire will result in great purrfull attention to your human. – – This is your way a saying “Thank you!” beforehand. – – It works every time.

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One thought on “Catiquette Tutorial”

  1. Does Mr. Monte have any tips for his canine followers or their owners? There are a few, I think who need help! We have instances of outright theft in our home, much more overt even that what Mr. Monte posted about his friend (disgraceful!). This owner is sometimes at her wits end!! As an example, having to wrest a foil wrapped chocolate kiss from the mouth of a little furry canine, uncomfortable for both of us!! And there is no scruffing of dogs!!

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