Category: Mr. Monte

RV Trip 2021-01: A Very Tent Situation

To my 23,417 feline followers, especially my many cat cousins residing in Virginia and Ohio, immediately above the picture of yours truly, providing that your browser is properly configured, you will see the latest addition to the El Camino Del Monte (ECDM) glamping experience – a 15 x 13 FT INSTANT SCREENHOUSE. The purchase of this newest piece of glamping equipment was politely requested (read as: ‘ordered’ or ‘commanded’) by my big cat Blondie. As you can see, it can be set up adjacent to the ECDM covered lounge and relaxation area. It is large enough to cover an extended length picnic table and it protects glampers from sun, rain, and bugs. Blondie insists the screen tent is the perfect solution for comfortable outdoor activities.

Whatever! If it makes Blondie happy, Fuzzy and I are well advised to support her quest for glamping excellence. And that brings me to the question of whether Ol’ Fuzz Face is really up to the task. It’s well understood in the Serendipity Farmhouse community that Fuzzy can be quite methodical and analytical. In fact he lives by what he calls his ‘Fundamental Laws of Analysis.’ In fact, he does have a fairly good professional record of following his own rules. But … …

There are some days when Fuzzy gets out of bed that it’s obvious that he has been taken over and possessed by his inner-dork.* Monday April 12th was one of those days. It was apparent from the time we rolled out of the SFH estate in our Class-C RV that he was supercharged with grandiose visions of what a great trip this would be. When we arrived at Shenandoah River State Park and finished setting up, he could no longer contain his excitement. This would be the day he would have his chance to instantly set up the new 15 x 13 FT INSTANT SCREENHOUSE.

He sprang into action. He pulled the INSTANT SCREENHOUSE from the ECDM storage bay and immediately removed it from its carrying case. He hollered to Blondie, “Get the camera! The world has to see a real expert at work!” Meanwhile, I sat at the screen door awaiting the inevitably inevitable to happen – and so it did.

Within minutes, it was apparent that Fuzz Face was on the path to defeat. His impatience and ill-conceived confidence had got the best of him. His first mistake was that he didn’t follow his fundamental laws – he had not read the traffic, he had not read the directions. And that brought on the near disaster we see below. He had no clue of what he was doing. First he tried working from the outside, but nothing seemed right. He could be heard muttering to himself, talking to himself, reasoning with himself, and, all the time, never going back to consult the instructions.

Then it happened! The monster he had made lured him inside, swallowing him whole, and threatened to consume him entirely. He battled with this ravenous creature. He struggled and pulled tent legs. He grunted and groaned. He let out gasps. He had started to sweat and their was true panic and terror in his face. The monster had him almost completely entrapped.

Guardian angels exist. Fuzzy’s angel was well aware that Fuzzy needed saving, but …. only after he had learned his lesson. At the right moment, Fuzzy was inspired to withdraw from the jaws of the beast. He finally considered that it was time to read the instructions. Once he had done that, it was only three minutes until the INSTANT SCREENHOUSE was fully erected. It is beyond me why Ol’ Fuzz Face seemed so satisfied with himself once the tent was set up. His inner-dork was still there and presented a dorky smile on that fuzzy face.

Now, Fuzzy wasn’t the only one to commit a grave blunder that day. While Blondie was taking pictures of this most ridiculous affair, she made the mistake of laughing at Fuzzy and asking that question that husbands never want to hear, “Why don’t you read the instructions?

Maybe I shouldn’t have laughed at him, he looks a little annoyed!

Fortunately for Blondie, I interceded on her behalf and persuaded him to reconsider. He took my advice, recognizing that his sweet Wife is the heart and soul of Serendipity Farmhouse. – – And at that moment of truth, Fuzzy’s inner-dork departed and never reappeared for the remainder of the trip. As you can see below, Ol’ Fuzz Face did a much better job of taking down the screen tent and storing it in its carrying case.

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My Last Digs: I like Ol’ Fuzz Face, but when that inner-dork overcomes him, he loses all common sense. Even if he hadn’t read the instructions, he should have at least seen that the picture on the carrying case clearly showed what the screen tent should look like when erected. Also, just prior to him being swallowed by the tent beast, he should have seen that the tent was inside-out. The logo and other writing was backwards.

*Dork: a silly, out-of-touch person who tends to look odd or behave ridiculously around others; a social misfit

 

Breaking News: Grandson #7!!

Mr. Monte

To my 23,417 feline followers, especially my many cat cousins residing in Virginia and Ohio, Saturday 10 April will forever stand as a great day of joy and celebration here at Serendipity Farmhouse. At roughly 8 PM last night, my highly esteemed cat cousins Gizmo and Cosmo texted me to share their excitement over the birth of Grandson #7. They told me that Daughter #2, after a very long day-and-half, although tired, was doing well. Later that night, they forwarded me a beautiful picture of mother and child.

The backstory on this wonderful event will never be fully revealed, but Gizmo and Cosmo provided some illuminating insights. While Daughter #2 and Son-in-law #2 were dealing with the labor and the whole hospital “thing,” the invariably incompetent and inept Ol’ Fuzz Face was called upon to sit with and entertain Granddaughter #4. If it weren’t for his bumbling, mumbling, and generally ridiculous accomplishments, he would have no accomplishments at all. From the very beginning of his time with Granddaughter #4, Giz and Cos had to help him stay pointed in the right direction. They even had to show him how to use the remote controls for the TV and Blue Ray player.

As the story from my cat cousins goes, while some granddaughters can wrap a doting grandfather around their little finger, Granddaughter #4 had Ol’ Fuzzy completely hogtied around hers. They played bounce ball. They “cooked” meals for each other. Fuzzy read books to her and she read books to him. When the poor old guy returned home last night, he even tried to talk Blondie into watching a Tinkerbell movie with him. Realizing that the old man had to be brought back to his senses, after his shower, I cornered him in the bathroom and bit him. – – Although a little stunned at first, he realized my good intent and thanked me with a snack.

As I said, the rest of the backstory will never be published. Just between us cats, human grandparents are strange creatures, not subject to the laws of reason and common sense. – – – Nevertheless, Serendipity Farmhouse and the entire extended family are truly joyful this day.

Welcome to the family, Grandson #7!

SFH Journal: 2021-03-15 through 03-28 – Obsessions

Hi! Mr. Monte here!

To my 23,417 feline followers, especially my many cat cousins residing in Virginia and Ohio, Blondie and Ol’ Fuzz Face have been exceedingly busy over the last two weeks. And I, the officially proclaimed “FELINE PRODUCTIVE,” have had to take on more and more editing duties for the Serendipity Farmhouse Blog. It is both a duty and an honor. Besides that, I’m far more capable, honest, and objective than Fuzzy is.

Lately, my two big cats have been preoccupied by two competing obsessions – food and Spring gardening. Frankly, I have to admit that I share the food obsession and the gardening thing affords me added time out on the back porch.

St. Patrick & St. Joseph: If you view the featured photo at the top of the page very closely, you will see that culinary delights created in the soon-to-be-world-famous Serendipity Farmhouse Test Kitchen were a centerpiece at a dinner party honoring the great St. Patrick and St. Joseph. First there was a simple fruit salad. Then, Blondie outdid herself by baking not one, but two delicious loaves of bread. One was Scandinavian Light Rye Bread and the other was Irish Potato Brown Bread. The breads were SFH variations of recipes by Beth Hensberger as found in The Bread Lover’s Bread Machine Cookbook.

Fuzzy’s Follies: Fuzzy added a finishing touch to the bread concept with homemade butter. In so doing, he set a new SFH and personal record – from start of process to end of cleanup, less than 20 minutes. Unfortunately, he was unable to even come close to that record time later in the week.

Normally, the old guy uses store-bought heavy cream to make butter. Ten ounces of cream will give you a quarter pound of butter and six ounces of buttermilk. When that type of cream is at room temperature, it only takes Fuzzy about 5-7 minutes to churn up a quarter pound of my favorite licking butter. His record time is three minutes and forty seconds. But, on this recent occasion, he desired to show that he was a true purist and decided to use cream skimmed off the top of a half gallon of raw milk directly from the dairy farm.

Well, Fuzzy was able to skim off the requisite 10 ounces, leaving about a quarter inch of cream still in the jar. He poured the cream into his churn and began to turn and turn … churn and churn … turn and turn … churn and churn … I think you get the picture. Some fifty minutes later, a tired, panting, moaning and groaning old guy finally threw his hands up in the air and confessed he could turn and churn no more. He ended up with about two-thirds of what he usually produces. – – For the record, though: It was probably some of best butter this feline connoisseur has ever tasted.

Lesson Learned: If it’s butter you’re making, consider the time it will be taking. Because if it’s raw milk you’re using, a great deal of time you’ll be losing, not to mention, though it was not your intention, you’re going to turn and churn until your arms begin to  ache and burn. – – So sayeth Mencius (孟子) Maine Coon

Foodies’ Preview: Both my big cats are foodies. These last two weeks they have been deep into the creativity thing. For years they have been making pizzas, but they’ve always made the crust from store-bought mixes. A few days ago, they finally said that the soon-to-be-world-famous SFH Test Kitchen could not be entirely authentic and true to its founding principles so long as store-bought mixes were to be used. That is when they created this beauty of a three-cheese pizza. But, sad to say, my dear friends, you’ll never be able to reproduce it yourselves because you don’t have the secret SFH cheese ingredient.

Meanwhile, Ol’ Fuzz Face, while a partial failure at raw-milk butter, scored a great success with homemade sausage. He and a friend, who has the needed tools, spent a Saturday, each making eight pounds of pork and beef sausage.

In the coming weeks, there will be special posts describing the intricacies and ins and outs of how the SFH Three-Cheese Pizza and the SFH Special Sausage were conceived and how they became truly masterful culinary delights. – – Yes, I got to taste them.

Gardening: Blondie is the SFH Master Gardener. She has already started Spring planting. The raw intensity of garden is in the air. If you are around Blondie, never ever make the mistake of joking about her gardens. She takes them very seriously and she does not abide by humor about such an important undertaking. SFH is nothing if it is not about its bountiful gardens and the food that comes from them. – – It is what brings the family together – children, grandchildren, and good food to share – all bound together with a prayer. – – Yes, of course, this Maine Coon does join in family prayer.

More of Fuzzy’s Follies: Ol’ Fuzzface has a well-developed and abiding appreciation for maintaining the “perfectly manicured lawn.” Often, he can be heard happily chatting to himself about how beautiful and verdant are the many lawns spread about the vast 1.204 acres of the Serendipity Farmhouse estate. This week, he has been almost ecstatic because of the great success he has had in cultivating one of his favorite winter annual ground covers – Corn Speedwell (Veronica arvensis).

After doing some research, Blondie and I are less enthused. After all, Corn Speedwell is a weed!

This is not a lawn! These are weeds!

SFH by the Numbers

The following links will catch you up with what’s come out of our gardens and what has gone into mason jars and the freezer since our last Journal post:

SFH 2020 Plantings

SFH 2020 Harvest

SFH 2020 Preserving

SFH WX Station Report – Weekly: 

SFH WX 2021-03-15 through 03-21

SFH WX 2021-03-21 through 03-28

 

Birthday Conspiracy

СОВЕРШЕННО СЕКРЕТНО – 最高机密

Hi! Mr. Monte & Blondie here.

Conspiracy, coverups, and secrets have reigned supreme here at Serendipity Farmhouse this past month. Bribes and strong-arm tactics have been employed. We even had to pay off the UPS driver so that he wouldn’t leave anything incriminating on the front porch. Of course I, Mr. Monte, with my sly and cunning character and unequaled stealth have felt quite at home in this conspiracy. Blondie has turned into a real master at deception and the trade-craft known only by master spies.

Why all the secrecy and conspiracy you might ask? Oh, that’s quite simple to answer.

Ol’ Fuzz Face, who fancies himself to be a veritable, real-life James Bond, the analyst’s analyst so-to-speak, has repeatedly tried to uncover what the family has prepared for his birthday. So far, he has been a complete failure. We have outfoxed the old fox. We have beat him at his game. This year, he will just have wait to see what his conspiratorial family has planned for him.

So, let us end by saying, “Don’t you dare reveal anything to the old guy. If you do, the price you pay will be quite dear.”

One last thing, the reason we’re doing this is because, on his good days, Ol’ Fuzzy is really a pretty nice guy. In fact, Blondie recommends that you check out this clip from Julie & Julia to see how she thinks of him. Also, when the day finally comes, tomorrow, feel free to wish him a happy birthday. – – Happy birthday, Sweetheart. I love you!! Blondie

СОВЕРШЕННО СЕКРЕТНО – 最高机密

SFH Security Blues

Hi! Mr. Monte here!

To my 23,417 feline followers, especially my many cat cousins residing in Virginia, Friday 12 March was not a good day for yours truly or any members of the world-renowned Serendipity Farmhouse Security Staff. Some cases are not part of our Standard Operating Procedure (SOP). In fact, this particular case was so unusual that all we could do was just “wing it”. – So, for the official record here is the case of the SFH Security Blues.

It all started about 09:30 hours EST. There was a commotion outside. Local critters, squirrels, cardinals, etc., were making a racket. At about the same time, our aerial observer, Lightning the broad-tailed hawk, sent a text saying that there was some sort of disturbance on the western side of the vast SFH estate. Soon afterwards, Rusty the rat snake called and noted that the disturbance was near the avian residential area where Serendipity Farmhouse leases properties (bird houses etc.) to many trusted and reliable feathered tenants.

Simultaneously, with the Security Staff alert calls, I noted that Blondie and Ol’ Fuzz Face were watching something from the large western picture window (Blondie’s bathroom window). Knowing that they would need a rapid response from me and my staff, I met with them in the bathroom and conveyed what I had learned from my able staff.

During our conference we were able to compile the following facts:

  1. The bluebird house on the western fence was ground zero for the disturbance;
  2. After cleaning the birdhouse recently, several prospective tenants had come to inspect the property;
  3. Unfortunately today, at least one female bluebird and two young males all arrived for a viewing at the same time;
  4. Bluebird real estate prospects are in high demand this time of year and each of the male bluebirds was insisting that he had first rights to the single available residence, and
  5. The female had retired to a nearby tree to await the outcome of the dispute.

That’s when the fight began. Both opponents were resolved and determined to take possession of the birdhouse. From the window, Blondie, Fuzzy, and I could see that this was not going to end well.

I quickly referred to the SFH Security SOP. Just as I thought – there was no procedure for this type of affair. Yet, it was up to me to prevent disharmony and perhaps even bloodshed here at SFH. I quickly called the available staff to a safe distance from the ongoing melee. I figured that if the staff could get the combatants’ attention, perhaps we could resolve the issue and come up with some equitable solution.

Just before I was to call the meeting, however, I made a quick check of what might be the appropriate protocols to be used in such a meeting. That is when all my good intentions proved to be worthless. As I searched for proper sounds and gestures that could be used to communicate with these brawling birds, I noticed in the fine print the host of animals that are common predators of bluebirds. The list prominently noted three predators that could make this whole meeting idea a bit problematic – they were: rat snakes, hawks, and most prominently CATS.

Oops! I recognized at that point that we had to scrub the meeting. I didn’t think that Blondie and Fuzzy would have been very forgiving if the SFH Security Staff were to bring mortal harm to their highly-prized flying friends. – – So, I had the staff stand down and return to their normal duties. I decided that the best thing to do was to ask Fuzzy to take some pictures for the record. I also asked that he make a note in the Official SFH Security Log that the Chief of Security was relieved of any responsibility if the two combatants were to come to any harm.

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So, the pictures were taken and we all went back about our business. This morning, a single nesting pair has taken residence in the bluebird house and all is peaceful once again here at Serendipity Farmhouse. – No, I didn’t suffer a failure but I had no great success and that is why today I have a case of the SFH Security Blues.

 

SFH Journal: 2021-03-01 through 03-07 – Feline Productive

Hi! Mr. Monte here!

To my 23,417 feline followers, especially my many cat cousins residing in Virginia, diligence, attention to detail, and hard work – that’s what its all about. That is how you can distinguish yourselves and make your own mark on this world. My life achievements, based on those principles, stand as a shining example to all of you. You can do it too – but you must be willing to put in the effort.

Imagine the surprise and pride that were shared by Blondie and Ol’ Fuzz Face when they turned to page 1 of the March-April edition of Cooperative Living Magazine and saw me, the now-world-famous Serendipity Farmhouse Chief of Security, featured as “FELINE PRODUCTIVE”. Yes, there was a classic picture of me “hard at work”, proclaiming that yours truly was the“FELINE PRODUCTIVE”. The magazine is distributed to all customers of the 15 member electric cooperatives in Virginia, Maryland, and Delaware. I’m sure that the editors have received many emails and phone calls requesting more details concerning the unique background and capabilities of the SFH Chief of Security. I’m expecting a call from them at any time now to set up an interview to be used in a feature-length article to satisfy the demands of their anxious readers.

Please Note: Today, the feature picture is the work of that highly-esteemed young artist – Grandson #2. He has done an excellent job of capturing the serious, reflective, and alert sides of my nature. His fine drawing has now been designated as my “official” Chief of Security portrait. Thank you Grandson#2!

SFH by the Numbers

The following links will catch you up with what’s come out of our gardens and what has gone into mason jars and the freezer since our last Journal post:

SFH 2020 Plantings

SFH 2020 Harvest

SFH 2020 Preserving

SFH WX Station Report – Weekly: 

SFH WX 2021-04-01 through 03-07

SFH Journal: 2021-02-08 through 02-14 – Winter Dreams & Valentines

Thinking of my dearest Miss Fleur

Hi! Mr. Monte here!

To my 23,417 feline followers, especially my many cat cousins residing in Virginia, I am a most fortunate feline. My dearest Miss Fleur remains faithful and has grown in her affection for me. When I was young, I thought that love would be an unwanted distraction. Yet, now that Miss Fleur has entered my life (and my heart), I can’t help but feeling fully fulfilled and far more capable of facing any unpleasantness that might come into any of my nine lives. – I hope that each of you can find the happiness and  consolation of your own “Miss Fleur”.

This year my Dearest One sent me a quite thoughtfully selected toy and she baked the most tasty heart cookies. To thank her for all that she means to me, today I will call all members of the soon-to-be-world-famous Serendipity Farmhouse Test Kitchen to join me in preparing the special Valentine’s pie that Miss Fleur so loves.

And now for the incalculably valuable words of wisdom that you humans, including my two big cats, have come to expect from yours truly. – –

For some, Winter, especially the month of February, is synonymous with dark, cold, damp, and dreary. There are days when even I, with my most commanding and positive personality, can fall into the trap of surrendering to the Winter doldrums. Consider for example my two big cats, Blondie and Ol’ Fuzz Face. They are gardeners, hobbyists, and RV-enthusiasts. When weather permits, they actively pursue their interests. They seldom sit while the sun is shining. But February is quite another matter. Then they are locked into limited routines and chores.

Path to the woodshed

This picture of wagon tracks shows the path Fuzzie takes from our old farmhouse to the woodshed. When the cart is filled with wood, Fuzzie struggles to pull the heavy wagon through the snow. But that is what he does to keep the wood stove fueled and to provide the warm, comfortable fire going for Blondie and me. He’s not as young as he used to be. In fact, no one really is. That trek past our vast vineyard and huge tomato garden and then back again represents devotion and love on his part, but it is not done for the sake of fun.

Likewise, Blondie washes clothes, cleans floors, prepares meals and does my bidding. She works harder than anyone here at SFH. And just like Fuzzie, her work represents devotion and love on her part, but it is not done for the sake of fun.

El Camino Del Monte in an ice storm

So this is why Winter is filled with dreams – dreams of working in the garden, dreams of canning tomatoes and pickling okra, dreams of walking beside a flowing river, dreams of hitting the road and finding a camp site for our RV El Camino Del Monte.

There are only 29 days to go before Ol’ Fuzz Face will remove the cover protecting El Camino Del Monte from the Winter wind, snow, and ice. Yes, only 29 days to go before the big engine is started again, the generator is tested, and preparations are made for a warmer season.

Until those warmer days come, we at SFH have the wood stove to keep us warm; we have our chores to keep things as they should be; and we have our plans to make for warmer days. Most of all, we have each other.

———————–A Word from Blondie & Fuzz Face————————

Mr. Monte, as usual, is absolutely correct. We would like to point out that here at SFH this day is celebrated as the traditional feast of St. Valentine, a man who gave his life for his faith in the God he loved. He is the patron of “courtly love”. It’s not just hearts and chocolates. Happy St. Valentine’s Day!

 

SFH by the Numbers

The following links will catch you up with what’s come out of our gardens and what has gone into mason jars and the freezer since our last Journal post:

SFH 2020 Plantings

SFH 2020 Harvest

SFH 2020 Preserving

SFH WX Station Report – Weekly: 

SFH WX 2021-02-07 through 02-14

 

SFH Journal 2021-01-03 through 01-17 – Just Hanging In There

Hi. Mr. Monte here.

This time of year is very difficult for a fully mature, unusually fit, remarkably agile, and unquestionably intelligent, 21-pound Maine Coon Cat. The days are short. The weather is dreary. And, most unpleasantly, outside time on the porch is greatly curtailed.

Oh, you may may experienced the Winter blahs, but you have never known the uniquely intense sense of frustration and misery that besets me during this time of year. – – – There, now that I have set the proper mood for this post, let’s see what Blondie and Ol’ Fuzz Face have been doing to keep our spirits high during these Winter doldrums so that we can just hang in there until Spring arrives.

There’s more on the door.

We at the soon-to-be-world-famous SFH Test Kitchen take great enjoyment in cooking gourmet and traditional American meals. Blondie and Fuzzy do a fair-to-middling job of following my instructions and they occasionally surprise me with some excellent cuisine. We like to experiment with all kinds of meats, but inevitably my two big cats come back to their favorite Julia Child recipes featuring beef (boeuf).

This year, one of the fine friends of Serendipity Farmhouse offered to go in with us for a side of Reality Farm beef. – – What great jubilation there was when Blondie and Fuzzy received their share of the beef. A highlight of the last week was when they prepared beef short ribs for the first time in their years together. It was delicious! – – – As a cat I was happy to see that my two big cats were happy. As for me, beef might be fine for them, but if I didn’t kill it, I’m in no real rush to eat it.

Finally Clean! – An oven doesn’t have to be exceptionally dirty to be exceptionally hard to clean. I’m told that when Fuzzy and Blondie moved into SFH the oven did not meet the high standards of cleanliness that are exacted by Blondie. When I arrived on the scene a year later, even though Fuzzy had spent some time in working on some very resistant, burnt-on stains, several offending stains remained. Over the years since then, Blondie and I have reminded Fuzzy that, until that oven is entirely clean, the soon-to-be-world famous SFH Test Kitchen would not be at its finest.

To his credit, Fuzzy pursued his duty to rid the oven of the offensive signs of filth. Finally, on January 14th, 2021 (mark that date for posterity), Ol’ Fuzz Face achieved success. He has submitted this photo as evidence to those who may have doubts.

Fuzzy, don’t be so foolish as to think that you can now rest on your laurels. – – The oven job was only one item off of Blondie’s “honey do” list. You may get away with resting on the Lord’s Day, but all the other days still belong to Blondie and me. – – Now get back to work!

SFH by the Numbers

The following links will catch you up with what’s come out of our gardens and what has gone into mason jars and the freezer since our last Journal post.:

SFH 2020 Plantings

SFH 2020 Harvest

SFH 2020 Preserving

SFH WX Station Report – Weekly: 

SFH WX 2021-01-04 through 01-10

SFH WX 2021-01-10 through 01-17

SFH Happy New Year – 2021!

Hi! Mr. Monte here.

As you can see by my ears and the expression on my face, you will certainly understand that I remain troubled. I’m still trying to shake off the negative feelings that disturbed my courageous yet sensitive feline soul throughout the scandalous year of 2020. But shake it off and be rid of it I will! I shall begin anew!

To My 23, 417 feline followers, especially my many cat cousins residing in Virginia, and to all the faithful followers of this journal of Serendipity Farmhouse – Happy New Year! Be it hereby resolved that we all make 2021 the best year ever and may we earnestly Pray for, Prepare for, and Preserve all that is right, goodly, Godly, and true!

A Sixth Anniversary

It was on December 31, 2014 that Blondie and Ol’ Fuzz Face made their way to Virginia Beach and we first met. This blog provides a living journal of how those two highly favored big cats of mine have grown and prospered under my care and protection. They have dutifully attended to my needs and have been relatively faithful and obedient servants. After all these years, I must admit to having developed an affection for them. I will also admit that we are fortunate to have each other.

Vanquish the Elf

I find it difficult to understand why Blondie and Fuzzy have allowed this little red intruder to reside within Serendipity Farmhouse. His only purpose is to spy on good and innocent individuals and then snitch to Santa if they accidentally happen to cross some arbitrary line between ‘naughty’ and ‘nice’. He skulks within the corridors and rooms of SFH, not unlike an unwanted rodent or bug. He hides on shelves and in concealed lairs to perform his evil deeds of espionage. – – Is it any wonder then that I, the Chief of Security for SFH, would not be willing to act peaceably towards him when Blondie attempted to bring about a reconciliation between me and that disreputable elf. – – I think the following video clearly sums up my feelings on this matter.