Yes, there is a Curry Monster, and yes, there are kaiju cats. These are two unquestionable truths here at Serendipity Farmhouse. This post will clear up the matter once and for all. – Failure to read this post could jeopardize your peace of mind and physical health for years to come.
A Kaiju Cat Enraged
Hi! Mr. Monte the SFH Kaiju (怪獣) Cat here!
I was thoroughly incensed by a recent comment made by an internet troll. He claimed that my sweet protector, Miss Blondie, lied in her report about The Attack of the Curry Monster in our post How to Enjoy S&B Golden Curry. This despicable being insinuated that there was no such thing as a ‘Curry Monster’.
That awakened the rage that lies deep within the being of this kaiju cat! – And now there is one less internet troll.
(Stay with me, and I’ll show you how I put that internet troll out of his misery. Also, I have a link to a special treat for all kaiju fans.)
The History of the Curry Monster
The Attack of the Curry Monster segment in Blondie’s post How to Enjoy S&B Golden Curry documents when and how one curry monster came into being. There are reliable witnesses who will testify that the story is factual. Furthermore, my esteemed colleague, the world-renowned Toku Professor, has provided us a concise curry monster history. Following are excerpts from his flawless research.
The first known appearance of the Curry Monster (カレーモンスター) took place around the year 2600 B.C. Coincidently, that was around the same time that the inhabitants of Muhenjo-Daro began pounding spices like fennel, cumin, mustard and tamarind pods to flavor their food. The Curry Monster had a different form at that time.
Much later, in 1510, the Portuguese established a trading center in Goa, India. As a result of this, several important ingredients for some curries, such as chili peppers, tomatoes and potatoes ended up making their way into India. The Curry Monster had to change forms quickly in order to digest these newly introduced foods.
In the 17th Century, the British began introducing curry into English cuisine. It was then that the Curry Monster slowly began to gain influence over many new areas of the world, before finally transforming into his Ultimate Form in the mid-20th Century.
Curry Monster Name Origin
Curry is an anglicized form of the Tamil கறி (kari) meaning ‘sauce’ or ‘relish for rice’ that uses the leaves of the curry tree (Murraya koenigii). Monster comes from Middle English “monstre”. This comes from Anglo-French and from the Latin “monstrum” meaning omen or monster.
Note: Regarding the Curry Monster’s strength and powers, the Toku Professor warns us:
NO WEAKNESS HAS BEEN FOUND.
Recent Confirmed Curry Monster Sightings
I have done some personal research. It reveals that there have been a large number of Curry Monster sightings throughout the world, especially in Japan. One sighting, with pictures, was reported on October 30, 2014 in the post デカ盛りすぎる珍百景カツカレーモンスター！！
I think this picture on the left explains why there have been so many sightings in Japan. It seems that the Curry Monster may have opened his own chain of restaurants. Apparently, Japanese kaiju finally have a place to grab a quick meal while ravaging local cities.
So, what happened to the Internet Troll?
Here’s how I disposed of that despicable internet troll. First, I used my unique skills as Hacker Cat (黑客猫) to determine his place of residence. (See my post Access Granted to 黑客猫.) Once I determined his location, I stealthily approached his evil lair in my non-kaiju form as a typically awesome 24-pound Maine Coon Cat.
Then, with a tremendous roar, I grew to my full-size kaiju form. Yes, I was now 393 feet tall when standing on my hind legs. Crouching down, I peered into the internet troll’s computer room window and glared at that mean-hearted being.
He saw the white flash of my sharp, massive teeth, and he began to tremble and cough. And then he coughed even more. This was better than I could have ever expected. This lousy troll was allergic to cats. – That is when I realized that I had the ultimate weapon to put this jerk out of business.
The Ultimate Kaiju Cat Weapon
As a mere 24-pound Main Coon cat, I can produce a massive amount of hair in a short time. As a 393-foot kaiju cat, one can only imagine how much hair I can amass to smother an evil internet troll. – Here, look for yourself. This is just two-days’ worth of hair. – No, I didn’t want the troll to die, but I made sure that he would be coughing and itching for the rest of his miserable life. – Beautiful Blondie’s detractor was vanquished!
Proof that there are other Kaiju Cats
I have now shown that there is a Curry Monster. In fact, there are many. Miss Blondie had told the truth. I have fought to preserve her honor.
You have also listened to my revelation that I am a kaiju cat. As I promised, I have a special treat for you. There are other kaiju cats. Watch this trailer to see about one of my 23,417 feline followers – a real-life kaiju cat – OWLKITTY. – Godzilla vs. Cat click here.