Hi! Mr. Monte here!
To my 23,417 feline followers, especially my many cat cousins residing in Virginia, Friday 12 March was not a good day for yours truly or any members of the world-renowned Serendipity Farmhouse Security Staff. Some cases are not part of our Standard Operating Procedure (SOP). In fact, this particular case was so unusual that all we could do was just “wing it”. – So, for the official record here is the case of the SFH Security Blues.
It all started about 09:30 hours EST. There was a commotion outside. Local critters, squirrels, cardinals, etc., were making a racket. At about the same time, our aerial observer, Lightning the broad-tailed hawk, sent a text saying that there was some sort of disturbance on the western side of the vast SFH estate. Soon afterwards, Rusty the rat snake called and noted that the disturbance was near the avian residential area where Serendipity Farmhouse leases properties (bird houses etc.) to many trusted and reliable feathered tenants.
Simultaneously, with the Security Staff alert calls, I noted that Blondie and Ol’ Fuzz Face were watching something from the large western picture window (Blondie’s bathroom window). Knowing that they would need a rapid response from me and my staff, I met with them in the bathroom and conveyed what I had learned from my able staff.
During our conference we were able to compile the following facts:
- The bluebird house on the western fence was ground zero for the disturbance;
- After cleaning the birdhouse recently, several prospective tenants had come to inspect the property;
- Unfortunately today, at least one female bluebird and two young males all arrived for a viewing at the same time;
- Bluebird real estate prospects are in high demand this time of year and each of the male bluebirds was insisting that he had first rights to the single available residence, and
- The female had retired to a nearby tree to await the outcome of the dispute.
That’s when the fight began. Both opponents were resolved and determined to take possession of the birdhouse. From the window, Blondie, Fuzzy, and I could see that this was not going to end well.
I quickly referred to the SFH Security SOP. Just as I thought – there was no procedure for this type of affair. Yet, it was up to me to prevent disharmony and perhaps even bloodshed here at SFH. I quickly called the available staff to a safe distance from the ongoing melee. I figured that if the staff could get the combatants’ attention, perhaps we could resolve the issue and come up with some equitable solution.
Just before I was to call the meeting, however, I made a quick check of what might be the appropriate protocols to be used in such a meeting. That is when all my good intentions proved to be worthless. As I searched for proper sounds and gestures that could be used to communicate with these brawling birds, I noticed in the fine print the host of animals that are common predators of bluebirds. The list prominently noted three predators that could make this whole meeting idea a bit problematic – they were: rat snakes, hawks, and most prominently CATS.
Oops! I recognized at that point that we had to scrub the meeting. I didn’t think that Blondie and Fuzzy would have been very forgiving if the SFH Security Staff were to bring mortal harm to their highly-prized flying friends. – – So, I had the staff stand down and return to their normal duties. I decided that the best thing to do was to ask Fuzzy to take some pictures for the record. I also asked that he make a note in the Official SFH Security Log that the Chief of Security was relieved of any responsibility if the two combatants were to come to any harm.
So, the pictures were taken and we all went back about our business. This morning, a single nesting pair has taken residence in the bluebird house and all is peaceful once again here at Serendipity Farmhouse. – No, I didn’t suffer a failure but I had no great success and that is why today I have a case of the SFH Security Blues.