Never Challenge a Maine Coon

He threw down the gauntlet and challenged me. So, I taught him why one should never challenge a Maine Coon cat.

Hi, Mr. Monte here!

To my 23, 417 feline followers, especially my many cat cousins residing in Virginia and Ohio, it’s really getting hard to do my job here at Serendipity Farmhouse. My human, Ol’ Fuzz Face, is a constant distraction.

Maine Coon Multitasking

If you are new to the Serendipity Farmhouse Blog, you might not know how much work has been going on here to improve your reading experience. In a recent post, I explained how I am thoroughly reorganizing the SFH Website structure.

Although I’ve made a great deal of progress on this task, I still have to perform all my other duties. For example, as Chief of Security, I must make frequent security patrols, write reports, and supervise the security staff. Likewise, I have a myriad of duties relating to the soon-to-be-world-famous SFH Test Kitchen. And it goes on and on. – – Thus, I’m a stressed out, overworked, underappreciated, multi-tasked Maine Coon cat.

Then, on top of everything else, along comes Ol’ Fuzz Face with another one of his hare-brained ideas. Let me tell you what he’s done this time.

Caring for a Maine Coon Cat

As far as humans go, Fuzzy is relatively well attuned to my feline needs and whims. He understands the nature of our relationship. I command; he serves. For example, this morning I entered the office, meowed once, and he immediately lifted me up onto the table and brushed me for fifteen minutes. – He performs this duty almost every day.

When he can muster the courage, every other week or so, he will trim my nails. He has learned that there are times when I’m not really in the mood, and he stays clear. He knows the consequences of misjudging my mood. – He keeps a ready supply of Band-Aids nearby.

Maine Coon Play – Sparring

My 23,417 feline followers and I share a common origin – the African Wildcat. We still feel the call of the wild. As predators, we are drawn to the type of play that mimics the hunt and the kill. The feature picture shows my favorite toy, a Kong Kickeroo.

Every morning, as Fuzzy eats his breakfast, I bump his leg with my head. He knows that if he doesn’t respond within 13 seconds it will be his unlucky day. So, he dutifully, leaves the table and joins me in mock combat. He’s my sparring partner.

No matter how he moves or dodges with the Kickeroo, my superior hunting skills allow me to anticipate Fuzzy’s moves and capture my prey. Should a portion of Fuzzy’s arm or hands block my attack on the Kickeroo, too bad for Fuzzy.

The Foolhardy Challenge

Recently, Fuzzy thought that he, the pupil, was smarter than his teacher. He had found a gardening glove with claws. He proposed that this glove would level the playing field if used in one of our sparring matches. So, puffed up with foolhardy pride, he threw down the gauntlet and challenged me to a dual.

Never challenge a Maine Coon
Mr. Monte, I throw down the gauntlet and challenge you to a dual!

Challenge Accepted – No Holds Barred

Being the fearless, invincible Maine Coon cat that I am, there was no way that I would refuse this foolish challenge. So, I accepted and added that no holds would be barred. Fuzzy foolishly accepted my terms.

We met that day on the field of combat. Fuzzy taunted me with derisive terms. He made ugly faces, snarled, and even hissed so as to mock me. I ignored him and bided my time.

Fuzzy was just a sparring partner. He had never known the full extent of my skills. Nor had he ever guessed the fierce nature of the African Wildcat inside me. But on that day, he made his big mistake. He would learn the lesson of how foolish he was to take on his 24-pound Maine Coon in no holds barred combat.

Yes, it was on that day he learned his lesson – NEVER CHALLENG A MAINE COON.

Back to Normal

These days, things have returned to normal. Ol’s Fuzz Face brushes me daily and trims my nails. He comes when I beckon, and he leaves when I tell him. Fuzzy now feeds me snacks and treats me as royalty should be treated. He lives his life as a humbled sparring partner. You can be sure he will never challenge me again.

Miss Blondie has asked that I not reveal any photos of my dual with her Hubby. Many of our readers are children and the pictures would be embarrassing to Fuzzy.

Lastly, acting on the advice of his wise and most beautiful spouse, Fuzzy is taking remedial lessons on caring for his adorable Maine Coon – Moi. As his first reading assignment he is reading the article Maine Coon by Janelle Leeson on the petMD site.

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