Hi, Mr. Monte here!

As you well know, modesty is perhaps the most well developed of my many virtues. I would never call myself a prideful cat. Today, however, I must admit my attitude and actions could be described as less than humble. Yet, how could it be otherwise? Today was my fifth birthday and today was allllll about meeeee-ow.

Ol’ Fuzz Face and Blondie, for every good and just reason, doted on me today. Each of them greeted me early with sincere birthday wishes – this was a day when my bowl was never empty. Blondie couldn’t have been nicer. Fuzz Face, on the other hand, could always be nicer. Nevertheless, he tried hard to be hospitable.

For example, grooming today went on for almost twenty minutes. He did his best to remove a troublesome knot in my fur – a knot that would not have been there if he had groomed me properly before. I guess the nicest thing he did was get me a new box to lounge in while sitting on the porch. (Of course, it was at no cost to him – he stole it from Aldi’s and just threw it on the floor in front of me.) Nevertheless, it is a pretty nice box and I suppose I can forgive him for his cheapness.

Blondie sometimes gets some strange ideas about what type of toys might amuse me. This year, I think she outdid herself in the strangeness department. After Barney, there can’t be a more detestable creature than Gumby. First off, he is green. Next, he’s not so smart. And thirdly, he isn’t all that tasty. I confirmed that today when Blondie gave me Gumby as a present. As you will see below, Gumby is no more. He had a distinct aroma of Play-Doh and the texture of used chewing gum. – – – Maybe, Blondie will get it right next year.

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Well, all’s well that ends well, and at least Blondie and Fuzz Face got the annual ice cream ritual right.

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Although Blondie had given me a descent size portion of the best ice cream she could find, and I thought that would be enough, I noticed that her portion far exceeded mine in volume and quality. Of course, I had to correct that error in judgement on her part immediately.

Blondie’s wounds should mend fairly soon. Fuzz Face, as usual, hid in a corner until I finished correcting his dear, sweet spouse.